Relationship Coach

Relationships can be complicated and difficult. If you are struggling to build a solid relationship, or wondering if you should stay or leave, identifying your core patterns and attachment styles may be the first  step to tranform your love life.

You deserve a satisfying, passionate, committed relationship full of trust, security, intimacy and affection. Today’s world is filled with challenges to finding and staying on your highest path, in and out of relationships, and living an authentic life.

  • Learn how to avoid common pitfalls and dysfunctional dynamics
  • Trapped in co-dependent patterns
  • Confused about how to improve your communication
  • Want to make your relationship a priority if it’s on the back burner
  • Confused about how to improve your communication
  • Dealing with toxic relationship and don’t know how to shift the dynamic
  • Understand how your attachment pattern impacts your adult romantic relationships
  • How to identify and speak each other’s love language(s)
  • Confused about whether you should stay together or end the relationship
  • You’re considering a breakup or divorce
  • Reconnect to yourself when you feel like you have lost yourself in your relationship
  • Argue all the time and in a cycle that isn’t serving you
  • Feel ignored and invisible
  • Your intimate life is non-existent or needs improvement
  • You’ve been growing apart and want to reconnect
  • You’re feeling lonely, unheard, and unsupported in your relationship
  • You have difficulty agreeing on life goals, such as kids, money management, or a work/life balance
  • You have emotional baggage from past relationships and want to let it go
  • You don’t trust your partner and are unsure how to forgive any hurts

I can help you create a healthy love life full of intimacy, connection and satisfaction…  or help you figure out if it’s time to leave. Wishing and hope your partner will change, or your relationship will be better, is not going to create change. Happy relationships can be the most amazing experiences in the world, but growing love and navigating communications is not something we are taught in school, and many people did not have the role models to reference. I believe in science and data, which I bring into our work together…

How Well Do You Know Your Partner and how well do you know yourself?

Discovering your patterns and your partner’s patterns are key to developing a deep and loving relationship.

The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse

My relationship coaching is based on the work of Dr. Gottman’s and his four decades of research with thousands of couples and Marshal Rosenbergs Violent Communication along with other modalities on improving relationships, compatibility, and intimacy.

Core to the understanding of healthy relationships is John Gottmans, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. While most relationships will have some of these, healthy relationships don’t use them nearly as often.

What is your attachment style?

Attachment theory, developed by Bowlby and Ainsworth found that the nature in which infants get their needs met by their parents significantly contributes to their “attachment strategy” throughout their lives.

Your attachment style can very well explain why your relationships fail or succeed, who you are attracted to and why you experience certain emotions when meeting a new partner. The good news is that your attachment style can change over time — although it’s slow and difficult.

The four child/adult attachment styles are:
  • Secure
  • Avoidant
  • Anxious
  • Disorganized

There are variations within that including anxious-avoider and others combinations. Uncovering your style and the style of the people you are in a relationship to can be mind-blowing!

Understanding Your Core Self-Defeating Beliefs

According to George Pratt and Peter Lambrou, there are seven core limiting “I am…” statements that almost all self-defeating beliefs originate from and they are:

  • I am not safe.
  • I am worthless.
  • I am powerless.
  • I am not loveable.
  • I cannot trust others.
  • I am bad.
  • I am alone.

Love and relationships can be hard. People have heartbreaks that they carry around for decades after a divorce, an unexpected ending or an existing relationship. If you are holding onto pain and can’t let it go, and it’s preventing you from moving forward with your life, I can help!