How to Stop Feeling Like You “Should” Have done Things Differently

How many times a day or week do you think to yourself “I should have done this…” or “I messed up”?

Getting rid of thoughts that drain you are really important in the process of learning how to live a life without the dreaded “should haves”.

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Top Tips to Stop Shoulding Yourself:

Overcome Procrastination

Fear is a feeling, but procrastination is nothing more than a habit. It’s one you’ve created and it won’t just go away on its own, even if you’ve done a mindset reset. So, now you have to break this habit by substituting a better one.

If you really want to continue making public speeches or writing your great novel, be aware that it will be necessary to create a new habit of actually performing the task, in order to break the acquired habit of procrastination. Here is a proven formula for succeeding.

Find an Accountability Buddy 

Call a friend or in-person work colleagues and use them to help keep you accountable so you don’t procrastinate.

Minimize the task.

Whatever you long to do but keep procrastinating over has likely become a huge snowball in your mind. Every time you avoid it or procrastinate, the snowball rolls further down the slippery slope and builds up momentum. Before you know it, the thing weighs a ton and seems bigger than you are! Many people find it helps if you break the project you’re afraid of into small steps and tackle each step one at a time. And if this doesn’t work, try the following process.

To Tackle Your Task Use a timer.

Don’t sit down to write fifty-thousand words. If you’re fighting the urge to procrastinate, promise yourself you will write five hundred words first – or even one hundred words – before you hang out on Facebook or Netflix.

Reward Yourself
After you complete a task, reward yourself, so you won’t live in the world of I “I Should have done xyz.

Stop Living in the Past

Fear is an insidious saboteur, it’s also our greatest teacher.

If there is a big reward at the end of the rainbow that keeps you mulling over the past? Reset your focus on a the present and the future successful outcome.

Fear does have its place in living in the past. Maybe you are worried about making the same mistake.

It gets adrenaline flowing and is a bit addictive.

Never let fear take over and actually stop creating your future.

Ever felt like you “Should” stay in a relationship?

When and how to get out of of toxic relationships is a big question. Many people don’t know what they should do, what right, what’s best…

We’ve all experienced toxic relationships. People who make us feel bad about ourselves. People who sap our confidence. People who put us down – often under the guise of “joking”. People who argue, take offense at small things, rain on our accomplishments. People who are exceptionally high maintenance.

You don’t owe it to anybody to stick around and suffer bad behavior. It’s your right – even if they are going through a crisis – to say, “Call me when you work it out”, and walk away. That being said, there are times you should seriously consider letting go of chronically toxic relationships.

Here’s the true secret to shifting interpersonal dynamics: You can’t change someone else, you can only change yourself. As long as you are giving your power to another person by complaining about them and allowing them to victimize you, you are enabling them and preventing them from having a motive or reason to face their problems.

If you are struggling with self-doubt and living in the past, stuck in what you should have been. I can help!

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be one of the toughest things especially with people closest to you. Feeling resentful is an indicator that a situation (or person) is problematic. If you have strong boundaries, you would minimize having to how feel like you should have responded differently.

Listen to that feeling, and respect it! It’s telling you the truth. It’s telling you that you are doing too much or doing something that you didn’t want to do something and now feel trapped.

If this sounds like a familiar situation, realize what’s behind your inability to say “no” and stick to it.

Here are some common causes of weak boundaries:

  • Wanting to be liked
  • You find it hard to be assertive
  • You have trouble being direct
  • Saying “no” but not knowing what to do next when people ignore it.

Powerful tips to strengthen your boundaries

  • Don’t say ‘sorry’. You don’t owe anyone an apology for refusing to inconvenience yourself.
  • Never try to explain – it’s guaranteed that a manipulative person will make you feel you’re being unreasonable and argue you into a corner.
  • Use the “broken record” technique: Just keep repeating (without explaining), over and over, closed statements such as: “My plate is full right now. You need to find someone else.”
  • Saying “no” but not knowing what to do next when people ignore it. Saying no is just the first step. Or find an equally firm statement that feels more comfortable to you.

Being assertive will feel very wrong, the first few times – but do it anyway! It’s the “Act as if” philosophy. (It does get easier – and you’ll probably have to act on your threat to leave or hang up only once.)

If you need help and stop living in the past and worrying about what you should have or could have done…Sign up for your free chat.